The current times have brought about many challenges and changes to family life. Whether you always dreamed of more family time or not, we all have been subjected to more than what we have been accustomed to. Take my family for example, although we were already a home educating family, our children participated in a homeschool enrichment program, sports, and art classes outside of the home. Now, even those few moments of separation have been minimized.
Many families are distraught about the amount of time being spent together as a family, due to concerns about the lack of socialization. But what we don’t realize is that prior to the pandemic, the average American family spent less than 37 minutes of quality time together per day. Interestingly enough, not many parents were concerned about the lack of quality time, and yet eventually the pendulum will swing back in the other direction. Socializing with others outside of the home will become the focus, and primary source of relational health. So now is the time to ensure that your family, at its fundamental core, is bound by these 7 pillars of family life.
Regardless of how unique your family system is, or the circumstances you face, these are a few great things that your family can hold onto during unprecedented times and beyond.
1. Teachable Moments: These are moments to learn and grow as a family. You don’t have to wait for something specific to arise, in order to have a teachable moment. Although teachable moments most often occur when you least expect them, with increased interactions and sometimes some planning, teachable moments can be created as well.
2. Chores & Responsibilities: Having a role in the daily operations of the family provides many benefits to children. Children who do chores may exhibit higher self-esteem, be more responsible, and be better equipped to deal with adversity. Completing chores helps to produce social skills, which can lead to greater success in school, work, and relationships. In order to increase the likelihood of successful completion of chores, parents must be sure to choose those that are age appropriate.
3. Boundaries: It is very important for children's emotions to be heard and validated, but parents must keep in mind that they are in charge and responsible for creating a secure and stable environment for their kids. More specifically, parents are responsible for setting boundaries, in order to develop an environment where children can be heard, and encouraged to develop patience, self-awareness, and more.
4. Schedule: Schedules or routines help children learn what will or will not happen next. Schedules can be useful for building trust between children and parents. When there is no schedule, it can increase the probability of creating emotional anxiety. Parents should do their best to be consistent, while allowing for flexibility within the day.
5. Family Meetings: Family meetings provide a great opportunity to spend quality time together as a family. These meetings help to improve communication, relationships or performance. Family meetings are also a great way to keep family members who are often in different places throughout the day or week, connected and communicating with each other.
6. Love: In a family, love is key to experiencing things like respect, loyalty, and healthy attachment. Love is extremely important when it comes to supporting a child’s emotional well-being. Love is also what helps to keep the family together. Children that have strong family bonds of love and acceptance, are often more successful.
7. Fun: Having fun together as a family helps to bring everyone closer together and strengthen the parent-child bond. Family fun is an important part of building a strong family identity. Parent’s must get intentional with creating opportunities to enjoy each other, while taking every opportunity possible to laugh together.
Society may change, and the pendulum will swing, but a family that takes time to build a firm foundation on these pillars will be able to withstand the changes. Although our family is spending more time together, we are doing our best to take this time to see the needs of our family, and build family synergy. Although families are unique, we all have the same rights and basic needs. It is the responsibility of parents to take note of those needs, and to make sure that their families' needs are being fulfilled.